Ethan Couch And His Mother Have Been Found !!!
December 26th 2015 the day after Christmas Ethan Couch the “Affluenza Teen” who was given 10 years probation for multiple murders and then soon fled the country with is mom has been found along with his mother in a small bodega style daily hostel in central Mexico.
Apparently they were making their way to Cancun when Mexican cartel members attempted to kidnap them for ransom. Once they found out who they had kidnapped, they quickly made a human wick out of them and walked away. For readers who do not know what a human wick is, it is when you put a bound human in a 55 gallon steel drum full of gasoline and light it. The only thing left is a small black blob on the ground when it finally finishes burning. This is usually performed out in the desert or away from towns.
In this case, the small motel happened to have a smoke alarm in a few of the rooms and the owner rushed to the room with a fire extinguisher and hose in hand. He hooked up the hose and rammed the door open in an attempt to protect his only means of income. A few of the full time residents joined in and were able to subdue the fire without any structural damage to the dwelling.
A few hours later when Mexican Authorities finally arrived at the remote location in Central Mexico, the discovered upon their initial investigation through dental records and the collaboration of the U.S. Marshalls Division in Texas that the records were a 98% match to Ethan Couch and his mother.
As of 10:10 AM on December 26th 2015 the Affluenza Teen Killer and his mother have been found.
NEW DEVELOPMENTS !!!
As of December 16th 2015 Ethan Couch is missing
After our release of the whooping party video it seems Ethan Couch aka the “Gay Manslaughterer” has been kidnapped by his mommy. At first authorities believed he might have simply “RAN AWAY” but then quickly realized this was physically impossible considering he had relapsed from his program with Black Belts Matter and his legs would have immediately become entangled within his lower textile garments. Authorities have great proof that his mommy was A Skeerid for her sons life and that her baby boy would be sodomized a lot rougher in prison than he was used to compared to his frat parties and college experiments. International bounty hunters are currently en route to recapture Ethan Hunt as his mothers trails were quite easy to trace even though the apartment him and his mother lived in was completely empty.
As the manhunt continues, we will keep you posted on the whereabouts of Ethan Couch aka the “Gay Serial Manslaughterer” and his flight from justice. If anyone has any information or has seen him breastfeeding with his mommy anywhere in those few places by their home town in Texas, please let us know. We fear his very life might be in danger as authorities found an entire pack of diapers in a dumpster by the mommy’s apartment. We are afraid if he is not found soon, the poor little boy might actually poop himself to death.
You can read more about our first encounter with the under privileged youth and beltless Ethan Couch Below.
We are so very sad to see one of our former success stories end up in failure and relapse. It’s been very hard for us to discuss the passing of Ethan Couch. Ethan was one of our first suburban missionary excursions. We knew that under privileged and neglected youths are not isolated to one culture, creed or income status, so we headed out to find them. That’s when we met “Ethan Couch” the soon to be not really Famous “Gay DUI Murderer”.
Ethan Couch was a very different and unique situation. See, even though he was under privileged by not having a belt to wear, he was surrounded by other gay men who had plenty of belts but refused to wear them. This made Ethan Couch very angry as they also did not offer to let Ethan borrow one of these spare belts.
On the home front, Ethan’s parents were no help either. Even though they were very well to do, they refused to pay any attention to Ethan Couch. Any parent could’ve seen that he was crying out for help and a belt. Ethan looked to his newfound friends in the local gay group in Burleson Texas to provide him with that void that his parents had left. Ethan Couch’s parents are well known around the “City Of Burleson Texas” (not to be confused with Burleson County) for facilitating his homosexual and manslaughtering tendencies.
Ethan Couch has made his parents famous with his Gay DUI murder spree leaving 4 dead and two paralyzed after he accidentally hit them head on at 70 mph with his Big Red Truck that he liked to refer to as the “Slip & Slider”. While speaking around a campfire one night he informed us that it was a pro Gay LGBT community term for anal sex with men or also known as “Playing In The Mud”.
Below you can see a video of his relapse. We are assuming he pawned the belt he received from donations for gay sexual favors, alcohol, Xanax, Amyl Nitrate or possibly even to plot the rape of his father. It is a crying shame to think we live in a world where stories like this happen on a daily basis. If this poor under privileged child’s parents would’ve seen the signs of his growing homosexuality and frustration, they could have helped him and his victims of 4 dead and 2 paralyzed before he killed himself. Once again, we cannot express to people just how important it is to put a belt on your child. If you cannot afford one, we will appoint you one.